If your nights are a blur of feedings, bouncing, tiptoeing, and Googling “why won’t my baby sleep?” at 2:47 a.m.… you’re not alone.
I’ve been there — staring at the ceiling, wondering if I was doing something wrong, or if I just had one of those babies who “doesn’t like sleep.”
Spoiler: no baby “doesn’t like sleep” — but there are plenty of tiny (and totally common!) missteps that could well be holding you back. Things keeping your baby, and you, from those glorious long stretches of rest, that you don’t realize you’re doing.
The good news? These sleep mistakes are totally fixable.
So, if you’re ready to get a little more peace, a little more predictability, and hoipefully a lot more sleep, here are the 10 most common baby sleep mistakes and exactly what to do instead.
Let’s fix this, one bedtime at a time.
1. Letting Baby Stay Awake Too Long
Why you might do this
Maybe your babys seems happy and alert, and you’re hoping a bit of extra awake time will mean a longer sleep later. Or you just want to finish a meal while it’s hot. I totally get it!
It feels like a win… until it isn’t.
How it can cause sleep problems
When babies stay up too long, their little bodies go into overdrive. In an attempt to keep going when tired, they start producing more cortisol, the stress hormone. If you’re baby is “wired but tired” – this is due to cortisol.
When you do dry and put them down for a nap, your baby is highly likely to resist. Cue the crying, flailing, clinginess….
And once asleep, rather than sleeping longer, your baby is likely to wake up earlier from a nap and may wake more at night.
Yup, short naps and multiple night wakings are often a consequence of overtiredness because cortisol will continue to disturb baby while asleep. It’s a bit like going to sleep on an adrenalin high….
Just like us, it’s much better if babies go to sleep in a relaxed state, BEFORE becoming overtired.
What to do instead
1. Learn your baby’s awake times
Newborns cannot be awake very long before becoming tired; even a 3 month old baby will struggle with more than 2.5 hours – see the table above. .
So keep an eye on the clock, look for the signs that baby is tired and put to bed before tears start.
2. Learn your baby’s specific tiredness cues
WATCH for these signs that your newborn is tired:
- Yawning, frowning
- Staring vacantly, eyes glazing over or avoiding eye contact
- Moving jerkily, clenching fists
- Fussing and crying
Listen for the “owh” cry – it sounds a little bit like a yawn and means “I’m sleepy”,
And/or from an older baby:
- Rubbing eyes and ears
- Becoming clingy
- Losing interest & turning head away from what’s going on
- Sucking fingers
Read more on baby cues here (including video and chart with all the baby cries, hand, face and body movements to help you figure out what your baby needs).
3. Don’t fear the early bedtime
If your baby had a day of short or disrupted naps or seems tired early, try an earlier bedtime or allow a short nap and stick with your normal bedtime. Earlier sleep can mean more sleep, not less.
4. Allow enough time to shift gears
Make sure you allow at least 15 minutes for a bedtime or wind-down routine.
5. Encourage long, restorative (cortisol lowering) naps
The longer baby sleeps, the lower cortisol levels drop.
What’s important is that baby sleeps long enough to reach deep sleep, which is at the end of the sleep cycle. That means a nap of at least 45 minutes.
However, naps of that go beyond 1.5 hours means multiple sleep cycles and more chance for cortisol levels to reset.
This newborn sleep and feeding schedule is structured with a 2-2.5 hour nap in the middle of the day, which gives baby a good recharge and beyond the 3 month mark, should see them through to a 7pm bedtime.
For longer naps try this post: 9 tactics to take 2 hour naps from dream to reality
2. Not Waking Baby Up for Daytime Feeds
Why you might do this
When baby’s finally asleep, it’s tempting to let them rest longer — especially if you’re exhausted.
You might also have been told to “never wake a sleeping baby” – something my mother-in-law told me all the time! (I finally learnt to ignore her…)
How it can cause sleep problems
Letting your baby nap too long in the day can mean two things:
- A feed is missed or delayed, so baby may need to eat more at night
- Baby won’t be as tired at night, so may wake more frequently or stay awake in the middle of the night…
What to do instead
1. Feed every 2-3 hours in the day
To ensure healthy weight gain in the early days your baby needs to eat at least every 3 hours* day and night.
*3 hours is from the beginning of the previous feed to the beginning of the next one. So if baby eats at 7am, start the next feed no later than 10am.
Frequent and regular feeding is one of the golden rules of breastfeeding – it’s key to build your milk supply.
However, once baby grows and can go longer between feeds (and your milk supply is well established if breastfeeding) keep up the regular feeds in the day to encourage longer stretches at night:
Feed 3 hourly in the day to MAXIMIZE the number of feeds in order to MINIMIZE the number of night wakings due to hunger.
2. Wake baby up if necessary!
Wake baby gently by:
- removing from their cot/ your arms
- drawing curtains/turning lights on/taking to a bright, well-lit room
- unswaddling/removing blankets
If still very sleepy, try a diaper change, unbuttoning or removing the top layer and so on.
Only start feeding when baby is fully alert and awake.
Allow 15 minutes to wake baby and get them alert and ready to feed. So if baby fed at 11 am and is still asleep at 1:45 pm, it’s time to wake baby up in order to START feeding at 2 pm.
3. Letting Baby Snack All Day Instead of Taking “Full Feeds”
Why you might do this
Lots of short feeds can be convenient as well as an easy way to calm your baby when fussy.
How it can cause sleep problems
If your baby snacks constantly in the day, chances are they’ll do the same at night! They won’t be eating enough to be manage a longer stretch of sleep.
What to do instead
1. Make every feed count
Feed every 2-3 hours in the day, make sure your baby eats well (effectively, efficienty and undistracted) and only finishes when full – this can take up to 45 minutes for a newborn.
Ie you want to encourage “full feeds” rather than snack feeding.
You want to avoid baby:
- Feeding for a few minutes, stopping and then wanting to feed a short time after. At night this will translate to multiple night wakings
- Becoming too distracted and stopping eating early (if you can’t find somewhere private and quiet a nursing cover or scarf, can help reduce distractions)
- Falling asleep (only to wake half an hour later and want to eat again)
NB: Make sure you stop and wind your baby once or twice while feeding. (Plenty of burping tips here.
My firstborn was a serial snacker of note! Read how I gradually managed to stretch feeds apart here.
2. Use the eat–awake–sleep cycle
This means that baby feeds when most alert and is more likely to eat until hunger is satisfied, rather than until they fall asleep.
This also helps prevent a feeding to sleep association from developing.
3. Resist the urge to comfort-feed
Comfort feeding may make baby uncomfortable so when your baby is fussy try soothing in other ways — swaddle, white noise, cuddle.
Try to only feed if your baby is genuinely hungry. (NB: Rooting to suck is not only a cue for hunger! Babies also suck for comfort.)
4. Not Burping Baby Enough
Why you might do this
When baby nods off mid-feed, you sigh with relief — and skip winding to avoid waking them.
Or maybe at two in the morning it feels too risky to disturb your baby or you simply are too tired to bother!
How it can cause sleep problems
Trapped wind causes discomfort, and can disturb your baby’s sleep, even if baby initially fell asleep well. Squirming, grunting, and starting over becomes the night’s theme.
What to do instead
1. Burp during and after a feed
When feeding, your baby will probably tell you when they need to burp by stopping and refusing to eat anymore. That’s your cue to burp your baby.
If they don’t, take a pause mid feed to allow them the chance. Then when baby is done eating, wind them again.
Offer baby the chance to burp at least twice every feed. If breastfeeding, burp your newborn midway and again at the end of the feed, or every 2-3 ounces if bottle feeding.
If they don’t burp well, keep them in a position that allows and helps trapped wind to come up. E.g:
- Upright – baby carrier, bouncy chair, sitting them on your lap
- On their front – tummy time, across your lap, over the shoulder hold
2. Burp baby even if sleeping!
Yes, you can burp a sleeping baby! Just keep movements slow and gentle.
If asleep, your baby may be harder to burp than normal – in which case, try the tips coming up.
3. Learn how to burp a hard to burp baby
Don’t underestimate the power and skill of burping your baby well! A well burped baby will be more content when awake and will sleep so much better….
Here are my top tips:
- Use a burping position that puts firm pressure on the lower abdomen
- Rub and squeeze, don’t pat
- Experiment with different burping positions
- Add in gentle movement
For more detail on the above and ore tips, try this hard to burp baby post.
5. Not Creating a Pitch‑Black Sleep Space for Daytime Naps
Why you might do this
You may think that in order to fix day night confusion, your baby’s sleep space should be light for daytime naps.
How it can cause sleep problems
Light suppresses melatonin, the sleep inducing hormone, and activates cortisol which helps us wake up.
When baby is awake in the day, you do want a good level of light to help switch day night confusion that newborns are often born with. Continued exposure to light in the day will help sort baby’s days and nights out.
However, for naps, you don’t want light to disturb your baby. Newborns spend the majority of their sleep (70-80%) in or between light sleep stages and are easily disturbed.
That’s why many naps fall apart after 30 minutes — the light wakes them – and the chance of a longer nap of 1.5+ hours is highly unlikely.
(Remember those longer naps are more restorative, as mentioned at sleep mistake no. 1.)
In addition, light is normally always a factor in early morning wakings.
So a pitch black sleep environment, day and night, is a must!
What to do instead
Turn that room into darkness
Plain and simple, install blackout blinds or curtains and/or line the windows with blackout film.
My personal preference is to use blackout curtains with a travel blackout blinds suckered to the window panes. The chinks of light that escape round the edges of the blackout blinds should be caught by the curtains and vice versa.
I have also used blackout window film, but it’s not something you can apply and remove daily.
6. Keeping Baby’s Sleep Space Too Quiet
Why you might do this
Quiet seems peaceful. You tiptoe, you whisper, you shush everyone that comes near your sleeping baby…
How it can cause sleep problems
Absolute silence offers no buffer against sudden noises. Again, babies are very easily disturbed and a quiet room amplifies disturbances.
Also, newborns are not used to silence. The womb is incredibly noisy!
A consistent background noise is both comforting and masks against disturbances.
What to do instead
Use white noise for all sleeps
Play gentle, consistent noise at all sleep times. White noise, brown noise, rain, ocean etc – there are plenty to choose from on youtube or buy a white noise machine – most have a selection of at least 10 different white noises.
Use it for fussy periods too
White noise can be very effective when trying to calm a crying baby, and is one of Dr Karp’s 5 S’s (read about the others here).
7. Not Establishing A Good Wind‑Down Routine
Why you might do this
The temptation is high, to leave everything until the last minute. Your baby seems content enough so you just carry on… then try cram a quick diaper change, swaddle and cuddle into 5 minutes and expect baby to settle to sleep quickly…
How it can cause sleep problems
Once in a while it’s probably fine, but there’s 2 problems here:
1 – You’re in danger of missing that narrow window of opportunity – when baby is tired but not overtired (see sleep mistake no. 1).
2 – Your baby needs a bridge between being active and alert and settling to sleep — a way to shift gears. Without cues, sleep feels abrupt and this is when the trouble can start.
What to do instead
Start a short, easily repeatable wind-down routine
Dim the lights, swaddle, shush softly — whatever you decide, make it something you can do again and again. Add in a bath or some massage when time allows, but always carry out some core elements.
Carry out this routine for naps too
Don’t reserve your wind-down only for nighttime. The core elements you decide on will help baby’s body recognize sleep is coming.
8. Rushing In Too Quickly When Baby Stirs
Why you might do this
That first whimper sends you leaping across the room. You race to your baby hoping to catch the stirring before it escalates.
You don’t want your baby to cry — and you definitely don’t want a full wake-up.
How it can cause sleep problems
Babies often stir between cycles; not every noise means full wake-up. If you rush in, you interrupt their chance to self-settle and encourage reliance on your intervention.
What to do instead
Pause first
Give baby 30–90 seconds to see if they resettle on their own.
Observe quietly
Watch or listen at a distance (a monitor is great for this) — not every stir needs handling.
Step in if needed
Once baby is clearly awake, then intervene.
But you’d be surprised how many times your baby does drift back to sleep again. Just make sure you give them that chance!
9. Assuming Inconsolable Crying Is “Normal”
Why you might do this
You’ve been told “babies cry” and that colic is just a phase. After nights of frustration, it’s easy to accept crying as the baseline and new normal.
How it can cause sleep problems
Recurring, inconsolable crying is often a signal — discomfort, hunger, overtiredness, gas, or something else that can be changed.
Ignoring the root cause and things are unlikely to improve.
What to do instead
Eliminate and try to rectify gassiness, reflux or the witching hour
My second born had bouts of colicky crying – turns out she had reflux. In figuring all this out, I did a lot of research and reading which I’ve shared in these posts:
- Is crying mostly later in the day? This could be the witching hour – and yes, you can fix it!
- Is baby uncomfortable – you could have a gassy baby or maybe it’s reflux.
Final Thoughts: Sleep Doesn’t Have to Feel Like a Fantasy
If you’re here, you’re probably running on fumes after too many sleepless nights….I’ve been there, nearly every new mom has too.
These sleep mistakes? They’re incredibly common (I’ve made every single one, trust me), but now you’re aware, you can hopefully make some tweaks that will make a huge difference.
You don’t need a perfect routine or a sleep coach on speed dial. You just need a bit of awareness, a touch of consistency, and the right tools at your fingertips.
Hopefully the info in this post and the linked posts will help you on the way.
Keep going! You’ve got this. Before long, those middle-of-the-night wakeups will be fewer, shorter, and eventually — just a distant, hazy memory.
Let me know how you get on in the comments.
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For more newborn baby tips and help with sleep, try the following:
- 25 Newborn Baby Tips For The First 6 Weeks
- 0-3 Weeks Newborn Schedule: Your Daily Routine & Tips
- 3 To 6 Weeks Newborn Schedule: A Simple Daily Routine
- What should a newborn baby wear to sleep in bed at night?
- How To Get Your Newborn Baby To Sleep Without Being Held
- How to help your baby sleep through the night in 10 steps (NO CIO)
